I’ll make a reservation right away, I’m writing all this not in the hope that the little kids, having scattered on their parents, will get this manual and massively leave the house, inspired by new knowledge. Rather, I hope for the opposite result.
1. What, in fact, horseradish?
So, you decided to leave home. Let’s start, let’s figure out which, sobsna, lyada people usually dump out of the house?
To begin with, we’ll deal with age. Usually itching on such adventures ass starts at the age of thirteen, and this, in principle, is normal. This age - hypertrophic offenses, hormones begin to knock on the forehead. Who grinned at this phrase, Nehai will remember thirteen-year-old himself, his gloomy thoughts on the imperfection of the world and other abstract wardrobe.
A person older than 25 years old, dumped from home, most likely has its very serious reasons for this, plus there are already significantly more brains. But people leave at this age much less often, rather they are looking for alternative solutions to their difficulties.
So, in which case is it not worth it to dump out of the house?
"They didn’t buy me some bullshit!" It is sad, but yes. This fucking reason comes first. I’m honestly honest with myself, and I can say that most of the thoughts that Maman didn’t love me and wish a speedy death were due to the fact that she didn’t buy me any garbage. And most of the rest of the relatively prosperous teenagers began their creative career by crawling precisely for this reason.
"I'm not allowed to do some bullshit!" A small branch of the first paragraph. More often than not, parents simply realize that a 14-year-old pussy is not able to appraise their hobbies sensibly, falling into nehuy fanaticism. And it’s better not to allow a 14-year-old fool, locking her under lock and key, to get a tattoo on the ass “I love Andrei”.
Let's start with these two little points. My dear ones who want to do sebezzo from under the parental hand. Before yelling: “I will let my FSC foal!”, Think. Excuse me? Exactly? You imagine your future snotty kid like you. You naively think that he will be a fan of the same music, of the same books, to express the same thoughts. NOT! Will not be. Because subcultures become obsolete and go out of fashion, suitable performers in the world of darkness, and you will not understand many of your child’s addictions. And he will not understand how one can be such an evil-handed retrograde, and how dare you try to influence his worldview. Because this garbage in one form or another (somewhere not so exaggerated, somewhere even very subtle) occurs in any family.
And my advice to those hungry for some kind of bullshit is to talk to their parents, ask about their hobbies or desired things in their youth, draw parallels with their own. Perhaps they will understand.
And the most win-win option is to get to the bottom of grandmothers. With a high degree of probability they will tell you what bastards your ancestors were in their youth, and you will receive cool material for blackmail.
We continue to search for reasons why teenagers set sail from their home harbor.
It is sad, but now we recall the bad.
Even those who run away there really can no longer live. Juvenile justice, all sorts of public organizations, and so on are a complete nonsense. And best of all, this is understood by a teenager who is squeezed into a trauma and tries to take some measures so that he is no longer cuddled at home with at least heavy objects. Because in the best case, a good policeman will come to his house to tidy up, after leaving which the teenager will be driven into extra, prize-winning cots. Reality sucks.
The third category of runaways are those who have a reason. A really serious reason, such that they would rather agree to freeze a fuck on the street than spend another night with parents, alcoholics and drugs or suffering from a schiza during an exacerbation period.
The fourth category is quite small - it is outcasts. They are few in number because they do not take root practically in no society, and they are already accustomed to adolescence to behave as unobtrusively as possible so that at school they do not spit on their faces and dunk their heads in the toilet. But sometimes, after all, something breaks, and then the outcast tries to find his place in another society, which consciously contrasts itself with that which hates him. Sometimes it even works out well.
And the fifth category is crazy. No, those who are really diagnosed, there is such a disease, I will not mention the name when the awl pulls in the ass with terrible force. These are either treated or released. You still won’t hold them under the castle. But of them, really are the best hitchhikers, they have some kind of absolutely epic flair for people, and the chance to get into shit with such an awkward friend tends to zero.
I promised there would be examples. I have them.
A girl named Sveta, 14 years old, left her parents for the first time at thirteen. Parents are people of awesome kindness and compassion, in those days they often visited our party places and more than once helped many of us, twats, in asshole situations. It was useless to look for Svetka - she poked around like a coyote in a hole, and by the age of 16 she managed to make all of Russia go through. From time to time she was caught, or rather, she returned on her way to some regular Novoebenevo herself, to show her parents that she was alive and had not spoiled. The last time I heard about her was four years ago when she was hitchhiking to Europe. This is the fifth type, as you can guess. Sveta was all nishtyak. She was simply drawn to the road, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Dima left home about once a month for a week, and without fail he had prepared his base in advance. Dima had very caring, but relatively poor parents. However, in order to return their native uebushka home, they got into debt and bought what he needed, which is why he, in fact, was fucking up. He always boasted to us of this method of blackmail. The last time I heard about Dima was soon after the release of the fifth Yabloko. He asked me to live for a week, because his ancestors refused to buy him. Do you think Dima is 16 years old? Well no. 29, actually. I invited him to pay in kind. Refused, well, okay.
Sasha left home because his parents did not allow him to pierce an eyebrow. He stayed for a long time, went on the principle, I respect that. After three months of his adventures, which were probably no less fun than mine, Sasha found a dude who pierced his eyebrows, nose, ears, lip, and even cheek. Sasha was glad until he was late. A week later, Sasha found out what infection and gangrene are. He returned home when the pain became unbearable and, they say, his scoreboard looked like it was better not to see. However, now he is not handsome, although he learned to mask the flaws of his scarred tabla.
Masha ran away from home with her younger sister, five years old. Their alcoholic parents caught a fierce squirrel that night. All our acquaintances and unfamiliar tweets tried very hard to help them - they searched for meals, bought food and even found small warm clothes that Masha did not grab from the house due to the absence of the latter as a fact. Masha’s all ended well. After a year of winding, Masha got married, and it seems like she adopted her sister, I don’t remember exactly what the tsimes was there. Their family is just okhuyennaya, and I shield that if karma acts in this world, then Masha got exactly her classic gift.
If someone doubts which of the categories I belong to, the second. Partly by the fourth. The Society of My Brothers and Sisters for Madness, Music, Books, and Publishing was the first society that accepted me completely and unconditionally. And it happened at 14.5 years. I held on for six months, and then I realized that I couldn’t do that anymore, demanded that I be transferred to externs so as not to go to school, I was refused and freaked out. They did not give me time to spend time with those who loved me. And this was a tragedy for my mind, which was not fully formed.
If, having thought over the reasons, you have not changed your mind yet and intend, like I did in my time, to go to the victorious end, that second part to Wellcome.
Yes, that’s the world of cocks - everything has consequences.
First, you drop out of school. I don’t even say maybe, mind you. School is a famous place, they will go there to look for you in the first place. And if you do not just drive a couple of days, and then come to bed with a fake sick leave, returning home, then this will be a significant problem in the future. And those who right now wave their hands and say “yes, I'll buy everything”, first ask about the prices, ok? And then think about how long and how long you will make this money. Independence - so to the full.
I left school myself, yes. Then I quit teaching, rocket science, bookselling, design, and again teaching. Good track record, huh?
And, yes, rogue that the promoter can earn a lot. Firstly, since you have not reached a decent age, you will need parental permission; serious offices with law do not want to have problems. Secondly, if you find a frivolous office, there will be a stopudovo less pay and try to fuck with finances. And even for many offices now very important medical book. So do not flatter yourself, on "rent an apartment and live like a king" is unlikely to be typed. “To remove the quarter of the basement in South Butovo and eat the doshirak” - this already seems to be true.
But if you still firmly decided, then you need the following.
What to take with you from home without fail:
1. Documents. At least a passport, as a maximum in addition to a policy, believe me, this can be very useful to you. Try to wear them so that they are guaranteed not to pass.
Example? Easy. I had to cope with the toenail pulled to dicks with meat. Because as a case, as I was told in the injury, fucking is not urgent, and I need to crap with the local doctor. If I had a policy, I would call an insurance company. If there was a policy, they wouldn’t send me a fuck, and if they had sent me, then they would most likely have accepted me at the clinic. A passport is generally a kosher thing. For example, you can look at it for three hours after storing it. Or present to the cops. By the way, I recommend minimizing all possible meetings in the cops. Neither you nor them, by and large, did not give a fuck.
2. Money. In this case, if you have any of your personal hamster stocks - drag it. If they are not there, and you are thinking of cashing with your parents, think again. It is very likely that in a couple of days you will want to backtrack, and this will make it much more difficult if you erase your relations with your parents.
By the way, I had no money. That is, generally and completely. However, with a certain share of cunning, moving around the city does not even stop at all.
3. Focus on the season for clothing.
Do not repeat my mistake and do not fuck in winter in summer jeans, sneakers and a leather jacket over a T-shirt. And if you bring down in the summer, still grab at least a windbreaker.
4. Backpack. He must look unholy. This is not a matter of style - you simply should not draw attention to yourself. Ideally, the backpack should be small but roomy. And the coolest thing, if it is soft, is a fucking pillow.
5. Regarding clothing. Take care of a decent amount of underwear and socks if you don't want to stink like a bum.
6. Toothpaste and brush - if again you do not want to stink like a bum. Soap and soap accessories belong to the same steppe - you should have at least one pack of soap. If you are counting on spending the night on the street, wet wipes are cheap now and it’s quite possible to stock them up to escape.
Also of no small importance is a first-aid kit. It should have the following oddities:
1. Zelenka and iodine, better with markers, so as not to spill.
2. Potassium permanganate with traditional powder (suitable for cleansing the stomach - not for you, so who else will come in handy).
3. Vitamin Tse (everyone remembers what happened in my first stories with my gums? So I don’t recommend this to you.).
4. Bandages and plasters.
5. The warming ointment, than vigorous, the better.
6. Emergency teraflu bags.
7. Pedilin (and cho, you never mind?).
8. Anesthetic (the more the better).
9. Glycine (if the nerves are not in the pussy).
10. This is for women. I highly recommend carrying a ciston and just in case fluconazole.
The question that inevitably arises before everyone who has fucked out of the house is where to live now.
It seems like we all are not assholes, and everyone has friends. If you have a lonely friend supporting your protest, as well as courageously ready to fuck your parents that you didn’t see you - great! Head towards him and live in peace. But, as practice shows, at the indicated age, a lonely living peer friend is a pipe theme. And older friends, most likely, will let you spend the night once, and in the morning they will call your ancestors. Because no one in this world needs problems.
And taschemta will be quite right.
Option one - at first you really can turn around friends and acquaintances. True, your presence will soon hurt them, with a high degree of probability. And if not them, according to their relatives. Therefore, the best option is to sleep here, to sleep there in this particular case.
Option two - the most cocks. You have no friends. Or you do not trust them. Or you went to another city. In this case, you have a comparatively difficult task - to find yourself a wonderful place where you can live.
If you didn’t succeed straight away (and if this is your first experience, most likely it will be so), then your soft backpack and replaceable clothes will come in handy. Because I, until I was picked up for permanent residence, occasionally adventurously paraded. Yeah, such garbage. It is best to get drunk somewhere in the attic of an apartment building and sleep calmly there. True, if you do not have a sleeping bag, one dick will be cold, uncomfortable, and out of habit it will be niibazzo how to hurt your back. The disadvantage of such a life - you very quickly begin to resemble a homeless person, if you have nowhere to throw bones for at least a couple of hours - to wash and pomitstsa.
And right now I'll tell you more about subscription. To begin with, I just note that for me this is not a place where you can have a drink at night, but a place where you can live, from a couple of days to a couple of years, depending on many factors.
If you have an erysipelas, it is easier for you. You stupidly go to the nearest party and begin to ask every first one if anyone will write you in for the night, or better for a bigger one. As a rule, this works with a bang. You can still use all sorts of subscription portals. True, most of them are so dead and a little more than completely full of Leolebs, which I do not recommend.
No, no question, there are travel sites on which you can quite find a subscription. However, if you are not 18, it is unlikely that any of the serious uncles and aunts will take responsibility for the minor. Just because then he doesn’t want to deal with your parents or some fucked-up Tesak.
Well, what can I personally tell about subscriptions. There are several types of admissions - at night, for a couple of days, and at least forever, if only the person was good.
Finding the last one is ideal. Again, with these your Internet sites you can simply do it properly in thematic communities, not so long ago I saw an announcement, for example, that I’m looking for someone to live with, if only someone would cook, clean and admire cocks verses. There were no more requirements. But this is a kakbe spherical horse in a vacuum.
And now I'm streaming you.
Grandmothers! If a young suitcase offers you a meal and booze, I can say with a 95% probability that they intend to fuck you. And even if this particular suitcase of the most honest rules even before the wedding unfastens its fly only to pee and sleeps with his hands on top of the blanket, then on the entry, as a rule, the people are dark and not all sober. Especially if this is not permanent, but where the parents have gone on vacation. Or from constant ones, but already turned not into a sneak, but into an alkotresh.
What else to say? I will dilute the information thread with stories from my personal life. Short, funny and not very, but about the fit. What’s going on there, you’ll understand from your memoirs more quickly, if you’ve never been to them.
On one sneak, I, a long-suffering, drove just a young suitcase. We were in a pro-friendly relationship with him, and he considered my body to be extremely unprofitable - he liked anorectic fairies, but I wasn’t like that by nature, I had too many boobs at birth. We were in despair because of despair — we wondered in one place, but then at the last moment it was covered and we had to go wherever we had to, since the young suitcase by the name of Zhenya was epically experienced, and I knew where to stumble. We drove with an agreement that he would introduce me to his de-girl. Schaub, therefore, there were no questions regarding the commissar body.
At the entrance I did not like it. Even then, I truncated that 30-year-old breathalyzers are not the company to spend the night in. But there was a shield to do, it was -35 outside and I did not want to spend the night in the chill. There were about 10 people in the hut, all in varying degrees of fraud. I modestly fidgeted with Zhenya’s knees and periodically felt him in the ass to avert his eyes. He periodically, depicting a strrrrast kiss, rubbed me with a snotty nose in the neck. Однако это не мешало ужратым мужикам, которые рассказывали выдуманные (поверьте опыту, выдуманные) истории о похождениях на зоне, периодически пытаться меня под благовидным предлогом утащить в ванную.
- Жека, сука, куда ты меня припер? - Поинтересовалась я у него, когда мы заперлись в ванной под предлогом поебаться.
- Не ссы, прорвемся. Щас все пережрутся, и ляжем спать.
В ожидании пережратия окружающих, мы полчаса пошатали труба в ванной, покуривая, пиздя о смысле жизни и периодически издавая порнушные стоны, чтоб все не усомнились, что мы там ебемся, а не сачкуем.
I couldn’t sleep normally. Like Zhenya. We slept only later in the subway, making circles on the roundabout. All fucking night under our "matrimonial" sleeping bag playful hands climbed. And fuck him with me. But to Zhenya too. Either there fagots were hanging around, or at this stage of drinking everyone already had a hard time fucking. As a result, we were alternately breathing on each other. This is what I'm telling the story of. And to ensure that the young virgins, whom an unfamiliar thirty-year-old man drags on a sneak, say "fuck, fuck." And it’s less lucky than me. I just escaped with a bruise in the ass from a particularly zealous bailiff and half-awake at night.
The second story was a pic. This happened in the spring, and Sanka and I were looking for where to attach her nymphomania. Quite quickly found and winged loader popper us on a sneak. I immediately warned that I won’t be the third, the best man for me is my two fingers, and I’m not at all interested. Vyonosh little wilted, but I consoled him so that if he gets up after a night with Sanya, I will give him without talking. Taschemta I did not risk anything. Sanya at that time was a month without sex and the boy would not have left alive from her, how to give a drink.
In general, we got to the house where the little guy lived, a fucked friend who would have let him and the young lady admit. But the unexpected happened. Uncle gabaritof three and three let us go with Sanya, and Malchek hung up his pussy and told him to cunt on his asshole to the Museo's costa. This is where we became scared. The floor is high, it is impossible to jump, but you never know what’s inadequate in your head.
But in reality, everything seemed not so creepy. The uncle of that kidnapped his maid, and she also instructed the horns, and she sent off the money and fucked up. On this occasion, the uncle could not bear someone else's sexual happiness, and thinking that giving two deffeks in the face was somehow uncivilized, he put his friend up to date. And he thumped with us all night, mentally shouting songs and calling all the women "bitches and bitchies." They parted the evening of the next day with good friends.
These are two stories about a one night stay. I’ll remember what I’m searching for, I will unsubscribe in the same thread. And as regards the list of constants - so I’ll talk to you here, that's the whole story about Sanya. But still I summarize, just in case, what needs to be done on entry, and what is not needed there.
1. Squeeze it early. By nine in the evening - optimally, and at the same time your scoreboard should be sober. Firstly, because the owner of the house of entry, having seen a drunken sign on the threshold at one in the morning, may not be happy about this and send you back to your mother to the place where you were born. Secondly, if there is some kind of a vile whore on the house, you will notice it with sobriety. And in the early time it will not be too late to get together, ride the subway and look for options. And as an organizer of a subscription, although in the past, I can add that a drunken fuck on the doorstep does not make me happy at all. Neither talk to him, nor fuck, nor drink.
2. At registration, we all go to bed together when the owner lies down. It is possible earlier, but do not expect that for your sake everyone will quiet down. You can later, but in this case you should behave fucked up, how quiet. For example, I always enter people with pleasure. But if they interfere with me, stsuka, to sleep, I write them out at a time, and throw things out of the window. Sleeping is sacred.
3. You also need to get up at the beep, in principle. If nobody wakes you up - at least fall into a coma. But if you get some horse-radish and say that it’s time and that’s it, then quickly wash your face, pack up, politely say goodbye and fuck. Situations are different, and I, for example, will not leave the unfamiliar scribes when leaving for work on the hut. And I will not leave my friends for the elders in my absence. I hope everyone understands why?
4. If you are a strong lover or hater of something, stick your tongue in your ass, by the way. Just because if you are one lover of rap turned out to be on the metal list, then you can grab pussies. And if one Orthodox among Buddhists, then they either fuck, or they are not Buddhists. In general, if you are going to express a point of view, standing on a stool, like Lenin on an armored car, first make sure that you won’t get a cunt for her. For example, in a hut with me, Sanya and I received one boy from the house, and an extract for the cold because he said that all the women who fucked before the wedding were whores and worthless creatures to be shot. We finished off sent for three with Sparrow not out of personal insult, but because he broadcast it with such aplomb that his fists really itched. Plus, at the same time, he boasted of the number of seduced girls and assured that this was irrelevant. In general, when he was told either to remove the cross or to put on his underpants, as in the old joke, he was very offended and very obscene. And then I got the scoreboard from Sparrow.
5. Ah, yes. Bring to eat - a good tone. And do not fuck up that there is no money. You can shoot 20 pe on a pasta pack in three seconds, I guarantee it. The one who came without a grub automatically becomes the most unloved character in the community, and it is he who washes the dishes and cleans up after everyone. What did you want? So at least somehow you have to pay the good owners for an overnight stay.
6. Do not touch other people's things. If something fun and interesting is in the closet, do not open and touch it. First, ask the owner for permission.
Slavery for housing
Some home care groups are more like job boards. Only they offer jobs without a salary. Instead, they promise accommodation, and sometimes food. In fact, they are looking for slaves. “Free accommodation for help with housework, logging. In the near suburbs. Russian family in their home. For you a separate room and all amenities. Let's help each other, ”writes, judging by the posts in the profile, Daria is extremely passionate about her country house.
Interested in free labor and organizations. For example, the official account of the Rzhevsky farm: “The farm needs an assistant. We provide housing and food. All questions in l / s. "
Although those who are willing to cheat on their own for free, albeit temporarily, are really many. At least judging by the posts. And the geography is the most diverse: Barnaul, Voronezh, Moscow, St. Petersburg. But there are those who immediately make demands on those who are ready to provide shelter.
“I'm hooking a girl. Thin, short, able to cook and socialize under whiskey, ”promises a man who calls himself Gene Red. And in photo albums it shows both the same drink and thin, low travelers of varying degrees of dress. “Petersburg. 1. K. an apartment for a beautiful girl who has difficulties with money or housing. Questions in hp, ”writes Dmitry. There are women who seek only men in such groups. "I will help housing Men! Details in the LAN, ”suggests Ilona from Veliky Novgorod.
They are looking, however, not only for sexual (judging by the tonality of posts) partners. For example, Ivan, who, according to his VKontakte profile, is 29 years old, wants to find a “brother”. Confused, including the subscriber of one of the publics, not only Ivan’s intentions regarding the "brother", but also a scanty number of friends and an avatar stolen from the photo bank - you can even see a watermark on it.
REALLY HELP: I’ll settle in a private house in the city and help me get on my feet, a real boy of 12-16 years old from those who REALLY are humiliated, beaten, or abandoned by parents, but I don’t want to go to a shelter, a boarding school or to the street. The main condition: NOT A DRUG, NOT A DRINKER, NO JUDGMENT AND RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BROTHER (I’ll check everything very specifically) and ANOTHER - there must be a desire to learn at least something useful in life .. SHORT: I have been a brother since childhood. But Rodaki did not “give it away”. You can communicate with me as a peer, regardless of your age. But if you are not able to make friends, become attached to people, show feelings for loved ones, and I’m sure that everything around is freaks, then forget it right away! Nothing will work. If you have wonderful parents and you are just a moral freak, snicky and lazy prodigal cat, then WALK BY DETAILS IN DETAIL.
Those who are willing to shelter strangers publish announcements about this regularly, and in different groups, making small changes. So, the 25-year-old George first proposed simply to settle a girl in a two-room apartment in Moscow near the Pervomaiskaya metro station. In less than a week, he had already promised to bring to the sauna, and "finance our vacation." And the 27-year-old Alexander, in addition to a separate room for a girl from 18 to 27 years old, soon began to offer also a joint work “on the video project 18+”.
Apart are those who are looking for people to jointly build communes, including paramilitary. They do not indicate any data, unlike those who spontaneously want to leave home, on their personal pages. And often their profiles are completely deleted.
Among all these ads about finding free slaves and sexual slaves there are really many posts of those who want to leave home. Here and spontaneous searches for travel companions even where. “Help run away from home. I don’t know where, ”writes Ustina, 14 years old. “Hi. I want to run away from Go's house with me. Paul is not important. Moscow is desirable today,” suggests Vladislav, 17 years old. “Write to me in PM I want to leave the good girl, and we’ll leave forever. I live in Moscow and will go!” Calls Eleanor, on whose page the age of 13 years is indicated.
There are more thoughtful, but no less desperate plans to flee their homes. Here is a 22-year-old Cyril offers:
Tell me which one you choose and who is ready to implement it with me. plan number one. Go to the forest together with someone, taking a tent sleeping bags, all kinds of heating pads, thermal underwear. Anything not to die in Mirus 30. Although if you go to the southern forests near Sochi this problem will disappear. And live in the forest, provided that the parents will send us 3-4 thousand a month to our card. At least for 3. this is already enough to eat canned goods, cook pasta in a pot. (or spaghetti).
Cyril has a choice of other options. Firstly, he offers some girl to get pregnant from him, give the baby in good hands, and buy an apartment for maternity capital. Secondly, the same girl will get pregnant from a rich man, so that Cyril then blackmails him for money - but he can deceive. Thirdly, to build a "coat of concrete cinder blocks" on no man's land - but they can demolish an unauthorized building. Fourth, equipping a reinforced concrete garage - but it is expensive. Fifth, rub into the trust of a lonely old woman to rewrite her housing - but "it is very difficult to find such a grandmother in 2018." Sixth, to work as a loader and live in a hostel, saving money, and mother will send money for food - but this option is “on the penultimate place by sympathy”. Seventh, "stupidly rush to Africa," because "you will never freeze there, and there is something to eat" - but you can "be eaten by an African tribe." And finally, eighth, “buy a cellar or pantry in someone’s apartment or house”, where you can “use their toilet when they are not there, and a shower” and even “eat up their food”.
Cyril explains the need to choose one of these by the fact that his mother’s neighbor, whom they live with, “survives” him. But there is no desire to study or work, although he “has experience working as a loader as a janitor's promoter and has 11 classes of education”. “This is not laziness, it is simply the inability and fear of society. And my father is mentally disabled. Perhaps the disease was even transmitted to me, ”Cyril says.
Many followers of runner communities, like Cyril, remain active on the Web even after announcing their quick escape. In the comments under other posts, they continue to swear and talk on abstract topics. Some promise to run away regularly, coming up with new routes. Go to the monastery, changing the name from Lucy to Cristina-Agnessa-Polina-Lucia, or pretend to be a follower of “Jehovah's Witnesses” (a religious organization is prohibited on the territory of the Russian Federation) and apply for asylum in Finland, changing both the name (to Christian-Lucien) and gender , or live in an abandoned village with a gypsy slave - the real ideas of one of the subscribers put forward within a month. The belief that Lucy or Cyril really want to escape somewhere, of course not.
The life of children in social networks
But there are those who disappear from the Web after leaving the post. Announcing this publicly, some children still run away, told Irina Saltykovskaya, coordinator of the Lisa Alert search squad.
“We watch groups dedicated to unauthorized withdrawals. If we have some specific search during which we find that the child is subscribed to such a group, we see that there is some suggestion that might interest him, then we can guess where he moved. This helped in finding children, ”said Saltykovskaya.
According to her, such groups will not be completely closed: “It is impossible to monitor them all. Most are fake pages. You monitor one, another appears, and watching them is not really our task. ” Parents should be interested in the groups the child is subscribed to, the Izvestia interlocutor insists.
“Modern children spend a lot of time on social networks. And they certainly write something there. And besides the “leave home” groups, there are still many different communities that you should pay attention to. For example, these are different groups of acquaintances, divided by age, in which, quite possibly, not only children are sitting, but also not very adequate adults, seeking to get acquainted with a girl or boy.
Groups of football fans. There is an innocuous passion for football when we watch matches and cheer for our favorite team, but there are groups of aggressive-minded fans, all kinds of ultras (organized groups of football fans. - Ed.) That go to football for street fights, for example. This is no less dangerous.
If a child is subscribed to some group with a bloody avatar, with an inverted crucifix, pentagrams, it’s probably worth to go and see what it is and talk with the child and react to the situation depending on the answer. Or “it’s just Sasha’s subscribed to them and sent me a quote, she sunk into my soul, and I also signed up,” or you will find that your child has serious problems. We need to talk to him about the dangers of the Internet, because it is strange if the child is already big enough to have an account on social networks, and in order to find out who the pedophiles are and why they need children's photos, it’s kind of still small.
The standard situation on the search is when we begin to browse the list of friends of a child in social networks, and there are completely incomprehensible people there. We ask mom: “And who is this?” - “I don’t know.” “And this?” - “I don’t know.” But they were not added yesterday, not the day before yesterday!
A spontaneous escape from home is a simpler search situation because it happens without preparation. I got a deuce, my mother didn’t come home from work, shouted at the child, he said: “Oh so?” - and bang the door. This story, at least, is quite simple - either from friends or pouting in the stairwell.
And some pre-prepared stories, including those planned in social networks, occur not in a day, not in two. And we should not monitor networks. This parents need to track changes in their child, in his mood, behavior. We look at the child: what he is dressed in, with whom he went for a walk, we try to monitor his friends in reality. Virtual life is exactly the same.
Madness in parent chats
How seriously Saltykovskaya recommends taking what is happening on the pages of children on social networks, she is equally skeptical of the information that parents spread in chat rooms in instant messengers. Adults scare each other by sending copies of pedophiles written on a carbon copy and brand anyone who doubts their reality.
“In various“ mother’s ”chats, publics are very fond of sending stories - it goes from city to city in waves. One of the reasons why a wave of fake panic arises is the increase in popularity of a person. When someone posts a similar post on his page, due to the number of likes and reposts, he simply increases the page’s traffic and its popularity, ”Izvestia’s interlocutor noted.
In 2016, the number of applications for Lisa Alert exceeded 6 thousand. Of these, 1 thousand were about the loss of children (from 0 to 18 years old). The search engines found 45 children dead, 72 were not found. In 2017, 9,406 applications for search were accepted, including 1,867 for children from 0 to 17 years. Of these, 63 were found dead, and so far no one has been found.
Moreover, according to Saltykovskaya, most of the tragedies with children are due to accidents. “According to our statistics, the most common cause of tragic stories with children, especially in the natural environment, is accidents, not actions of third parties. If we are talking about the natural environment, then the greatest number of tragedies are due to water and ice, ”she concluded.
Why do teens leave home
Irina Saltykovskaya found it difficult to name the most common reasons for leaving children at home - "how many searches, so many situations." “There are children from absolutely prosperous families who leave, perhaps due to a lack of adventure or go to live with a girlfriend - then this is a child who just hangs out with friends. There are cases when children hide in attics and porches - it is clear that this is a different situation, more dangerous.
Причин огромное количество: полученная двойка, потерянный телефон, испорченная куртка, безответная любовь, неприятие родителями друзей — всё, что угодно. Всё зависит от того, какой контакт между родителями и детьми, какие конкретно в этой семье постулаты, нормы поведения, какие в ней есть запреты.
Всё время вспоминаю историю, когда мальчик 13 лет познакомился с девочкой, она проживала в другом районе Москвы. И он ездил ее провожать, чтоб она не возвращалась одна домой. Они часто задерживались. Родители и с той, и с другой стороны сильно сердились. И в какой-то момент эта девочка психанула и сказала: «Ну, всё, я пошла!» И хлопнула дверью. The boy had a trusting relationship with his mother, he said: “She was kicked out, can she stay with us?” And they are 13 years old. Mom, of course, said: “No, what are you doing!” - “Then I’m leaving with her.” Gathered and went. He has first love, he didn’t leave his girlfriend on the street.
From the point of view of parents, I understand that there are basic rules of behavior, but probably you need to hear children. The question arises: who do you want to grow? Your son is growing up, would you like him to act? He told her: “Okay, let's stay on the street, and I went, I have a warm bed at home, and my mother will not let you in.”
Children and adolescents are maximalists. For them, if friendship, then it is for life. If love, then now and never will be. And for this, parents also need to make a discount. Try to be wiser. In my understanding, there are no guilty children. In no situation. Adults are always to blame, because children are the responsibility of adults, ”concluded Lisa Alert, coordinator of the search squad.